Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category
-
A joke to laugh and to think
A self-important teenager was on a crowded bus trying to explain an old man why it was impossible for his generation to understand the youth.“You old people will never understand our generation. You grew up in a different world, almost primitive.” He was talking so loudly that people around him began to listen.
The old man said nothing. The student continued “Young people today grew up with TV, jet planes, space travel, men walking on the moon.
We have nuclear energy, cell phones, computers, internet and many more things than you ever had.”The old man was silent for a moment and then said “You’re right son. We didn’t have all those things when we were young…so we invented them. Now what are YOU idiots going to do for the next generation?”
The applause from all the people listening was amazing.
LISTEN TO THE TEXT : http://text-to-speech.imtranslator.net/speech.asp
-
What’s in the bag?
I just watched this one TV programme. It is about celebrities, their gossip and their life. One of the segments that I like in this programme is ‘looking inside the bag’. The reporter will check celebrities’ bag and have a look what are the things inside.
The first celebrity is a radio DJ. I like her because she’s a happy go lucky person, always cheerful and she also able to make the listeners’ day full of joy. In her bag there is a lotion, two cell phones, a pen and a notebook, several vitamins and also a perfume. I’m quite surprise because there is no make-up in her bag!
The next celebrity is a dancer. Of course in her beg there would be a set of make-up, mirror, perfume, and surprisingly she has a bottle of weight loss dietary supplement in her bag! No wander she looks so slim nowadays.
The last celebrity is an actress. She carried a set of make-up, chewing gum (to prevent from bad breath she said), one cell phone and a protection spray. Suddenly I wander, didn’t these people carry a pad with them? -
Watch Out with the Joke
I recall a teacher I had in school, came to school one day wearing a brown shoe on one foot and a black shoe on the other. She had been in a rush that morning and simply grabbed a left shoe and a right shoe. They were the same style just different in color. She only lived a short distance from school but rather than go home and change she explained her fiasco to her students. She was always so perfect we just could not imagine her doing such a thing. I think following that day we looked at her as though she was almost human.You had better know we all had one big chuckle out of the shoe episode. Have you thought that you do not have to be the one ‘on center-stage’ to share humor? Of course not. Just consider it, if some person is sharing a funny happening with you, what is your job? Laugh, of course you would. Now this ought not have to be a false laugh but a significant chuckle. Laughing with, not at someone is spreading their humor.
Most of us have a friend or have knowledge of someone that is known for his or her humor. They are fun to be with and we should always remember to share our chuckling with them. Now that you realise that humor can be shared without being a public orator, let’s look at how an orator relates, or should relate, to his or her audience. They have a relationship that is obtained by mutual respect, trust and sympathising with the audience. Humor needs to be prepared exceptionally carefully. When it fails to be funny it can cause stress and discomfort.
This should not occur if you are able to follow a few guidelines. The first point to be considered is the difference between healthy and unhealthy humor. As you know, unhealthy humor has a victim. It shows a wicked spirit. There might be a laugh for this humor but it would most probably be one of nervousness. The sufferer is usually made to look different, not be very intelligent or prejudice.
Looking to healthy humor you will see it is just the opposite. It shows support and authorization in emphasizing the ways we are alike. This shows more understanding and sympathy. The laughing here comes from recognizing that we are all in the same boat and no one is isolated or made to appear different. In order to spread humor, the speaker must have a good demeanour. You must be able to enjoy humor.
It is crucial that you have a good relationship with the audience. This is sharing yourself in person so they will discover the speaker. Trust has to be established so the audience will not be nervous of anything you may share. A good insight or knowledge of the audience is a must as every joke or sentence plays on a particular emotion.
A complete understanding about the environment of the audience will put the speaker on conventional ground with them. This requires a lot of homework. If you don’t know details of them, stay off from particular persons and places in your humor. Presentation is essential. The presentation of the punchline is important as well as giving the audience time to enjoy the punchline. The ultimate important issue with timing you must realise when to finish. Enjoyable humor goes a long way and it is way better to let them leave wanting more.
-
How to Make Women Happy?
It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionateWITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girlsAND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goesIT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makesHOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
-
Funny Mask
We are still with the issue of H1N1. These people are soooo creative!
-
Mini Car
Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper was down.His secretary walked up to him and asked, ‘Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?’ This was not a phrase that Her Boss understood, so he went into his Office looking a bit puzzled.
When he was about done with his paper work, he suddenly noticed that his Zipper was not zipped up. He zipped up and remembering what his Secretary had told him, finally understood.
He then intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee from his secretary. When he reached her desk, He said, ‘When you saw the garage door open did you see my jaguar parked In there?’ The secretary smiled for a moment and said, ‘No, Boss I didn’t. All I saw was a mini car with 2 flat tires
-
5 Humiliate Moments in Sports
-
Kissing…..WOW!
Kissing in public. This is something taboo in my country. People don’t do this in an open place. We have an organitation to prohibit this act among the public. Although we live in multi racial country, everyone can respect and follow the laws.
WoW! what a romantic couple!
Song of the Week
Personal Notes
Vocab
My Fav
Quote
Wanna say something?
Recent Post
- September 2010 (1)
- August 2010 (2)
- July 2010 (17)
- June 2010 (12)
- May 2010 (30)
- April 2010 (17)
- March 2010 (19)
- February 2010 (14)
- January 2010 (29)
- December 2009 (18)
- November 2009 (17)
- October 2009 (13)
- September 2009 (9)
- August 2009 (12)
